Olivia's Birth Story

These last couple weeks has felt so unreal. I have TWO babies now, and I couldn’t be more grateful and blessed. These are the days I’ve always dreamed of; being a mama of multiple babes. It is definitely an adjustment going from 1 to 2, and the recovery has been A LOT harder than it was the first time around, but I think the transition has been pretty good because of all the help that I’ve had (SO thankful for that). Olivia feels like she has always been here and fits into our fam so perfectly.  

BABY O’s BIG ARRIVAL:

On October 21st, I had a routine OB appointment with my favorite doctor. (My insurance is Kaiser, and there are multiple OBs that have the potential to be on call whenever you go into Labor & Delivery). I had been having some Braxton Hicks and slight cramping, but nothing that felt close to labor. My cervix was checked and was 2.5 cm dilated and 70% effaced at the appointment. The doctor told me that he wasn’t on call at the hospital until Oct 31st, which immediately bummed me out, because we both knew I was not going to make it until then to have him deliver my baby. I was also equally excited, because I sure as hell did not want to be pregnant anymore!

After the appointment, Scott and I went and got Chick-Fit-A and then stopped at a few other places to get some Halloween decor. We ended up getting in the holiday mood and setting up a spooky scene in our front yard after Charlotte went to bed. We ordered Topper’s pizza. (Cannot believe my last 2 meals were Chick-Fil-A and Toppers. No wonder why I was freaking out later about going number 2). I did not have much of an appetite at all, but I had this overwhelming feeling that this would be my last meal before labor started, which was bizarre because I wasn’t having regular contractions or anything. I maybe had one “real” contraction and I kind of jokingly told Scott that I would probably have the baby tomorrow. I was texting a few friends and told them the same, that 10/22 sounded like a good date to have a baby. 

Fast forward to 12:30am that night. I woke up suddenly and thought to myself “I’m gonna get up to pee right now, and my water is gonna break.” Right when I stood up out of bed, it happened just like that. I felt a gush of water between my legs, and was like ohhh, shit. It was not that much, but I remembered that your water can kind of just trickle out for an extended period of time. I woke Scott up and told him, and he proceeded to stay in bed. I actually tried getting back into bed for a little as well, as I was in full denial that it was time to go to the hospital. I got back up and told Scott to pack a bag for the second time. Thankfully, mine had been packed since the night before. He then proceeded to get up, take forever in the bathroom and move extremely slowly, which is not out of character for him. He usually has the most chill demeanor, while I’m the one freaking out and panicking. I managed to stay calm, but I began to shake and shiver. I wasn’t sure if it was because it was cold or because I was just really nervous. We finally made it into the car, almost forgetting to bring the carseat (second kid probs). The 1:30am drive to the hospital was super foggy. I was just trying to focus on thinking positive and breathing. I was not having super consistent contractions at this point, so it was easy to keep a somewhat calm mindset. 

The arrival to the hospital felt like a scene out of a movie to me. Scott and I had failed to pre-register ourselves (which the OB always warns you not to do, because otherwise you are in pain, trying to register in a panic at the front desk). Welp, this was us. Being asked stupid details like my address while having water pour between my legs and contractions every few minutes was not ideal. After getting admitted fairly quickly, I was able to get my IV and start a round of antibiotics because I had tested positive for Strep B. (This is something you are tested for in your third trimester. I had this with my first pregnancy, so it was likely that I would have it again). I immediately asked about the anesthesiologist and if he was on site. I had a feeling labor would go fast, and I was just preparing ahead. Contractions got more and more intense. I had a constant feeling that I needed to poo, and it was probably because of the pizza I ate the night before. Thankfully, I was able to clear the system (sorry, TMI) before I got too dilated. As contractions got worse and worse, I continued to ask the whereabouts of the anesthesiologist and if I could get my epidural earlier than later. I was around 5 cm dilated before he came in and was able to administer the epidural. The process took a lot longer than it did with my first delivery, because I kept having contractions during the “procedure.” Thankfully, about 15 minutes later, I felt some relief. Unfortunately, as my labor progressed, I started to feel an intense sharp pain on the left side of my uterus. I could feel the pain get more and more intense at each contraction, and I knew I was getting close. I called for the nurse a few times. We discussed potentially having the anesthesiologist come back in to redo the epidural, since I was in so much pain at this point. I hated the sound of that, but I felt like I had no choice at this point and that it was too late anyway. I asked the nurse to check my cervix a little after 6am, and sure enough, I was 10cm dilated. I couldn’t believe how fast the labor had gone. 

The nurse called for the Dr. right away, and I knew that was a good sign. It almost made me feel overconfident that I would have one of those wonder stories: A fast moving labor with two hard pushes and then she’s out. But, I started pushing and 30 minutes went by, then another 30. I became super frustrated and kind of discouraged since the nurses were in and out of the room, and the Dr. sat pretty far away from me, not looking very prepared to “catch” the baby. It made me feel like the baby was nowhere near coming out. It was difficult to push. Although the epidural didn’t work on my left side, I was still unable to completely feel myself push and “bare down”. I was absolutely determined to not push for as long as I did for Charlotte’s birth, and I wanted to keep my energy high. I had moments of breaking down to Scott but simultaneously making jokes to the nurses. I tried to focus, pray, and motivate myself. After a little over an hour of pushing, she was here. October 22nd, at 7:38am. The Dr. pulled her out and faced her toward me. I immediately was overjoyed and relieved. I was so present in that moment. 

After the nurses placed Olivia on my chest, the Dr. delivered the placenta and afterbirth. She voiced some concern about the amount of blood I was losing. It felt like several long minutes of her cleaning me up and looking concerned. I kept asking if I was okay while simultaneously being overwhelmingly happy about my beautiful babe on my chest. I couldn’t help but to be extremely anxious. A million scenarios rushed through my head, even though everyone in the room assured me that I was going to be fine and that I was having a postpartum hemorrhage, but it was under control. I tried to take my eyes off the blood and focus on the fact that me and the baby were both okay in that moment. 

Thankfully, they were able to stop my bleeding and we moved to our postpartum recovery room fairly quickly. We texted and called our families and close friends about the good news. I felt so weak and tired, but also so happy. Happy that our baby was healthy. Happy that Cha was at home with our amazing nanny and my mom was on her way up from San Diego to help out with her. Happy that my husband was so supportive through every moment of the birth and that we got to share that together FOR THE SECOND TIME! (Still feels unreal to say). 

THE START OF THE 4TH TRIMESTER:

I am so grateful to say that this entire pregnancy and postpartum journey (so far) has been a much better experience for me mentally than my first. BUT, I’m not going to lie, the physical recovery has honestly been much harder on me. Because of the hemorrhage, I have been extremely weak and tired since the birth. I feel my body getting stronger every day, but it felt scary for a little while. I felt like something was really wrong with me, and being and being an extremely anxious person, this made the first two weeks of postpartum so difficult. I have been slowly building my hemoglobin levels back up by taking an iron supplement, eating well, and drinking a ton of water. I have been trying to tell myself that rest is so productive and such an important part of the postpartum journey. I’ve also been thinking about how women go through so much during pregnancy and birth, and there’s so much about each women’s journey that isn’t shared. We mostly only hear about the beautiful parts of birth and postpartum. Don’t get me wrong, its amazingly beautiful, but it's also raw, messy, painful, and tiring. It’s the best and hardest thing I have ever done, and I hope to create more dialogue around hardships during birth and the postpartum period as my journey in motherhood continues. 

A NOTE TO OLIVIA, OUR NEWEST LITTLE LOVE:  

You have the sweetest demeanor already. You fit so seamlessly into our family. You have made your sister so curious and excited about you. You have made me even closer to your daddy, if that’s even possible. You have tested our teamwork and multitasking skills. You’ve made me so grateful during this tough year our family has had. You have brought beautiful new life in a time where we recently felt loss. You are strong and beautiful, just like your older sister. You make me so excited for life. We love you forever!

XO,
Mama