and just like that, she’s one.
I can’t believe how fast the year flew by—isn’t that what everyone says? I swear I’ve always rolled my eyes at people my senior, who constantly told me to “enjoy every moment, because it goes by so fast.” OKAY, but they were right. I don’t know if it was because this year was so jam-packed full of life changing events or if I am now one of those adults that the time suddenly warps for, but I really didn’t get a chance to stop and look at the time. ever.
Now that I sat there wondering where time went, I can finally look at reality. Charlotte is one. And I can finally say this: I am loving this age. I am more connected with her than I ever was, to be completely honest. You think you really love them a few months back, and then you can’t imagine how the love grew exponentially. I think with a mix of hormonal changes, postpartum anxiety/depression, breastfeeding pain, working long hours, and new-mom life stressors, I was not as connected as I thought I would be in the first couple of months. I loved her, of course! But it wasn’t the “love at first sight” new moms talk about. Now that we got to know each other for a year, our bond is so much stronger. That may not be the popular opinion, but it’s our truth.
Charlotte is such an energetic, sassy, and strong soul. She loves dogs, eating, Yo Gabba Gabba, books, and sleeping (Thank god). She says “Hi Dada” and “No Zella” and knows some sign language. She knows what she wants, that’s for damn sure.
We spent her day in typical COVID-19 friendly fashion, with our family from our circle and a virtual cake smash via zoom. It was honestly nice to have an intimate group. Our whole unfurnished front room and half-knocked down kitchen wall was a dedicated party space. We spent the afternoon eating charcuterie boards, BBQing, playing lawn games in the backyard, and opening Cha’s presents. It was perfect! And after all of that fun, I had a chance to really sit with my feelings and think of the wishes I have for Cha and her life as the little strong soul that she is:
Cha,
Thank you for being born. Thank you for always making me and your daddy laugh. Thank you for choosing us. I hope that you will always be a strong lady. I hope you can always find happiness and positivity in every aspect of your life. I hope you know that you will always have support from your family and your parents. I hope you try your hardest in everything you do. I hope you have passion for things and follow all of those passions, pushing through fears and any negativity. I hope you know you are loved and will always be worthy. I hope you love yourself just as much as we love you.
Love you forever.
Sincerely, your mama.
